we yum yum cum

sigh.

I enjoy my little sister. she is funny. not the same sense of humor of me, but funny in a ditzy goofy way. abby has been an epic fail in the past 6 months (drug charges, dropping out of h.s., being PREGNANT), but today she gave me some much needed cheering up by being incredibly stupid.

she woke me up and begged me to go to the new chinese restaurant with her. apparently its the best. so because Im the best I took her over there to buy her sorry pregnant ass some lunch. as we were eating, she sneezed rather conspiculously, during which a huge amount of spit came out of her mouth and into her napkin. normally abby embarasses quite easily, but in this case she just laughed. my idiotic sister then proceeded to say that she thinks chinese people are robots. I repeat: she thinks chinese people, such as our waiter, are ROBOTS. 

"I always forget they are like real people, I think of them as robots."

"that's disgusting, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know, they look different and talk different. you just spilled food on yourself and you didn't seem ashamed either, so Im not alone"

"that's because I'm a fat pig not because I'm so xenophobic I believe non-Americans are ROBOTS."

so that's what a not-even-high school education will get you. 

*I like being home, as a visitor. even just being in Maine for 2 days turns me into a backwoods lumberjack. no really, today I had to climb on a ladder in my backyard, and CHAINSAW some branches down. I was covered in sap and pinecones were everywhere. I also got wet, swung in a hammock, took dirty pictures on the home copier, and got some curtains. 

*I also took painkillers for the first time in a year. ugh. I was hoping to never have to take them again. but I was in pain. I will be in pain for awhile. I am not myself and may never be again.

*coming from a small town can suck sometimes. I went to goodwill and then rite aid with my sister, and of course I see 2 guys I know. not just 2 guys I know, but one was the most genius guy ever, whom I graduated with and he went to harvard and once tried to kill himself. I avoided him so he didn't think I still lived here. much worse though, was the fact that the guy who rang me out at rite-aid was a guy from a neighboring high school whom I blew at a party after a long-term relationship ended when I was like, I dunno, 15/16? I don't think he recognized me. phew. 

* I've been off and on birth control since I was 14. it's odd, I've been having lots of dicussions of about the pill with my girlfriends, and it seems like a lot of experiences are similar. looking at stories online on my fave blogs only confirms it. the pill is horomones, duh, and it makes things fucking wacky. mood swings, huge tits, all over bloating. add to that a pre-existing ovarian condition that makes you very round around the belly and hips uncontrollably, and it can be a miserable situation. I'd like to maybe stop ingesting these horomones and try something else. but I really, really despise condoms. also trying to lose weight, for real this time, and a lot, so I'm scared of side effects. time to do some research, even though there is a good chance I won't be having regular sex anymore anyway.

*alright, you can see my tits, gonna submit to vice soon, whaaaaaat? didn't even lose the weight first, d'oh! 

*tits are real, inverted nipple and all, self-edited on picnik.com, thanks ;)