mark kozalek

so the fun thing about meeting new people, is that sometimes things will just turn out insane. and then you have a story to tell.

I went out with someone I barely knew last weekend. let's just say that he was coked out of his head and drunk the second I showed up, he asked for a threesome with the waitress, and molested me. but he looked like bradley cooper. all is not forgiven.

also this week, the guy who brings me to work, his name is Ray. he works for Checkered Cab. I use them in the mornings if I'm too tired to use the bus. well he's in his 50's, and is AWESOME. he brings me to dunkin every morning and we talk about the news. he also teaches me dirty italian words and bad names, like 'spacone'' and 'cavunde'. Ray likes to tell me stories about when he was 'signed to Columbia records' and 'the opening act for Joan Rivers'. I think he thought I didn't believe me, because YES today he gave me a copy of his cd. it is a bunch of covers and it's call 'the many feelings of ray alvino'. I'd post a picture of the cover, but dontcha know it, I can't find it online. I give him free bread from work, and we have this awesome relationship. he even does a cover of the Godfather theme.

lastly in people stories, my friend Will was telling me about his favorite sociopath. he works with Will's wife Meryn, at RISD. I guess he's crazy but sorta normal for a bunch of reasons. well my favorite story involving him is how this guy had to go to a friend's wedding one weekend. when meryn asked him how it was, he said it was good but that he wished he had gotten the friend a different gift. why is that, wondered meryn. well it turns out the guy had painted a FOUR FOOT TALL SELF PORTRAIT and gave it to the couple as a wedding gift. he was bummed he gave it to them not because of how hilariously inappropz that is, but because he said it was TOO GOOD and he wished he kept it.


loft-sitting this weekend downtown. see you there.