I think this might be the first post in the twenty-dime! starting this year off right with a salacious and outrageous and sonically amazing trip to the five boroughs. dopeshow. pictorials to follow. 2010, don't fail me like 2009.

statutory grape

so finally, epicly, It's confirmed where I am moving to in June. here in providence, downtown-ish, sorta kinda, a 3 floor house with 8 people, puppies, a garden, and weekly family meetings and dinners. who can I thank for the hookup? sweet sweet alex from seven stars, who scarily enough, is a lot like me. her cat is named 'bodycount' (Ice T ref) for chrissakes. I've accepting having to leave behind some of the amenities of the really nice apartment I have right now. however, I also accept paying over $100 less a month. oopsy doops. looking forward to all the new friends and situations I will find here!

*and I've been way behind in my celebrity news, but um, put this is the 'least surprising thing ever' file: michael jackson has skin cancer. oh really? dude has probably put everything on his face from searing hot barbeque sauce to flaming sparks from that pepsi commercial, to brooke shields' pussy. being white is just that desirable.

**um also leaked nude pics of rihanna, obvs from chris brown and his camp. normally 'leaked celeb nude pics' mean nip slips in the ocean or rump shots from calendar shoots. but rihanna is straight bent over from behind and you can see her ladyfingers n' stuff. plus her boobs (nipple ring, plus one) and abs (minus 1). this is what jay-z jerks off to while beyonce is off pretending to give a shit about kids in hospitals.


**also, youtube or google the clip from a recent weezer show, in which they cover of kids by mgmt, with a pokerface by lady gaga INTERLUDE people (plus rivers in funky shades). who out of those people should be ashamed? I'll just wait for Mark D to start that weezer cover band.

*** in predictable-hipster news: I am majorly feelin' the new Wilco and new Grizzly Bear albums.

***less predictably, I have boy drama. man drama. little sister baby mama drama. no no no.
let's all just listen to 'Brick' shall we?


TELL YOUR FRIENDS 'PEACE, LOOK, I'M BOUNCIN'

10 seconds of springtime

spring is here full force, all lisa lisa steez

and I am going to be getting a haircut soon. 2 weeks probably. I've been growing it out a little to do some shaping. not gonna make it shorter really, just switch up the style. I am obsessed with haircuts, which you already know if you read this ever.

I, as usual, will be doing the snipping myself. I've got a few inspirations in mind.



also, the Babysitters Club books were for young ghouls a few years older than me, back in the day, but I was super into the Little Sister spinoff books, featuring Kristy's young stepsister Karen. it was a nice series for kids from divorced homes, because Karen's parents were both remarried. the book barf-ably calls her 'Karen Two-Two' or something like that, because she has two of everything. anyway, this whole haircut biz, reminded me of the story in which Karen gets an terrible superbad haircut, and has to deal with all this shiz at school. I googled the book, to see the cover, and almost peed myself laughing over the truckstop bulldyke haircut Karen got.

no wonder she's scarred for life. what kind of supercuts reject gives an 8 year old girl the same haircut as bobby budnick? ugh.

I was a lesbian in my dream last night

I am currently teenymctinerson obsessing over:

where the wild things are trailer
the american apparel/woody allen lawsuit
the bar brawl that broke out last night at karaoke
everything about this
our magnificent bastard tongue
six feet under
cutting my hair soon
feeling my relationship at the level I once did, asap hopefully
spending my free time like a 15 year old boy, ie eating tacos while: watching superbad, playing tetris, checking out girls, swearing
the girls of Luscious Jackson

laff riot

everyone saw this like a bajillion years ago right? k just checkin'. still funny to me! nothing cheers me up on a gray december morn' more than this clip (simpsons reference #1). 

anyways, in case this video was not your speed, just wait until I post my writeup discussing the ethics of the Watchmen, utilizing all the handy info I've been compiling over the years with my love of philosophy and ethics in partics. please, stop the salivation. it'll be a Rorscharch test y'all! 

also, in celeb news, MIA named her newborn son Ickitt and officially became my next levs award for the week.

also in local celeb news, go to Red Rock in North Kingstown RI tomorrow night for karaoke night, to see the not-self-proclaimed 'kings of karaoke', Mark D and LV bust out the jamz and my nuts by PERFORMING amazingly. Mark D has been told he should be on American Idol more than once, and all the girls want him, natch, so I have to run interference :(

hothothot.

playin on my peach tree yeah! (simpsons reference #2)

seriously people I am lady gaga

oh my, neglecterinos,

I have quite simps been all over the place.

we no longer have cable tv at the apartment, due to us not paying for it/HD transition, so life has simply ceased to be for me. I mean, I die without the serious fashion no-no's, and THIS IS AWARDS SEASON. a girl can't afford to buy EVERY tabloid, now cmon.

I missed the Grammys on sunday, although I made sure to watch via the intranet MIA's performance. bitch showed up, ON HER DUE DATE PEOPLE, and killed it. she also wore this. I know I am going to dress locosauce when I'm knocked up, but girl is next levs and knows it:


it's things like this that make my life worthwhile.

but in all seriousness, I've been on mode haywire as of late. i'm feeling some big changes are gonna come. possibly new job, possibly two new jobs, maybe getting back in the ol' D&D game, and making some goddamn friends and movin' on out.

when I get overwhelmed like this I have to head home, which is what I am doing, tomorrow afternoon. I get what I need, but sometimes too much so. I should be in a Disney movie, the way I wanna make these dreams come true!

I pretty much feel like everyone needs space from me, so I'm giving it to them.

I suppose some major newz will break soon.

whoomp! there it continues to be

ya know, 

this week I'm feelin':

*not puttin' g's on the end of my words

*doin' mid-level geometry proofs while watching dane cook yuk it up in 'my best friend's girl'

*tights, because baby it's colllllld outside for pants-less cartoon ducks like me

*treating coke like it's a craft beer

*this picture of paul mccartney

review of my daydream, #1

the inaugural review of my daydream segment on this blerg

*****************************************************

title: "good morning, ms. witham"

when: weekly, in my lower points of thinking about jobs/careers, often during the commercial breaks of the 12-2 block of unsolved mysteries (the new one, which uses google maps to zoom in on the beginning location of each story, and has a huge distracting credit to google maps at the top of the screen, what is this?) on spiketv

synopsis: I'm here in providence, employed as a high school history teacher at a public high school. I don't know anything about the high schools in providence, but this one is large and has the kind of racial and social diversity that got the producers of 'freedom writers' and 'dangerous minds' hard. this minute-long fantasy sees me as the attractive, quirky, super-popular 'cool teacher' that makes the students actually want to learn, for the most part. somehow, I am able to use 'a people's history' as a text, and I also have cool glasses. while mr. belding's brother on SBTB was a cool teacher, I am way cooler. I make simpsons and arrested development references that for some reason all of my student's get, and spend the first 10 minutes of every class talking about whatever sporting event the night before. similarly, I'm also one of those teachers in which the students know they can get me rolling on a particular pop-culture topic and distract me for the duration of the class, except for the last 10 minutes where I say, okay since we didn't do anything today tomorrow's test/quiz is open note/book. joke's on them because it's an essay test and bitches will need to use their nubile young minds! 

*postscript: in this daydream I'm also married to mark d, and sometimes bring in hilarious d-anecdotes, and the kids sort of get to learn his personality through my stories, and also when he comes in sometimes and drops off a weird asian lunch for me. if this particular daydream is the version in which i'm in my late 30s/early 40s, D is dressed hilariously similar to what he does now, in layered thrifted tops and neat shoes. he also still has black-rimmed glasses, and the geeky girls in class secretly think he's hot, plus he plays guitars. HEY LADIEZ.

critique: reveals certain embarassing self-truths as well as raises important questions. what happens when, as I age, my physical charms are lessened and my once-quirky style of dress now appears to be more 'desperately alone crazy aunt'-esque? also, in 20 years these kids aren't going to know the simpsons/arrested development quotes, and I'll just seem crazy. will this institutional setting make me more conservative? all in all a reasonably satisfying yarn bearing uncomfortable similarities to 'dead poet's society' and the aforementioned 'save by the bell'. 

LISTEN UP KIDDIES.

jesus was just a spanish boys name

posting shall be a bit spotty considering the holidays, however I do have a bit of extended thoughts on greyhound busses. In the past year I have taken the bus from boston to maine literally several dozen times, and it's always a trip. maybe I'll get around to characterizing the kind of fools that subject themselves to this gassed up torture, myself excluded because I fucking rule.

also, first picture posts to come. 

ALSO, excited to have the boyfriend come to maine and mini vacay with me.

all is well.

midnight organ fight

whilst digging around for the rest of my 2008 best-of lists, I came across a previously unappreciated line from frightened rabbit, and their album midnight organ fight (which is itself a metaphor for sex)


"it takes more than fucking someone, to keep yourself warm"

ladies and gentlemen, we have found myself a catchphrase, and my whole being summed up in one line.