the inaugural review of my daydream segment on this blerg
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when: weekly, in my lower points of thinking about jobs/careers, often during the commercial breaks of the 12-2 block of unsolved mysteries (the new one, which uses google maps to zoom in on the beginning location of each story, and has a huge distracting credit to google maps at the top of the screen, what is this?) on spiketv
synopsis: I'm here in providence, employed as a high school history teacher at a public high school. I don't know anything about the high schools in providence, but this one is large and has the kind of racial and social diversity that got the producers of 'freedom writers' and 'dangerous minds' hard. this minute-long fantasy sees me as the attractive, quirky, super-popular 'cool teacher' that makes the students actually want to learn, for the most part. somehow, I am able to use 'a people's history' as a text, and I also have cool glasses. while mr. belding's brother on SBTB was a cool teacher, I am way cooler. I make simpsons and arrested development references that for some reason all of my student's get, and spend the first 10 minutes of every class talking about whatever sporting event the night before. similarly, I'm also one of those teachers in which the students know they can get me rolling on a particular pop-culture topic and distract me for the duration of the class, except for the last 10 minutes where I say, okay since we didn't do anything today tomorrow's test/quiz is open note/book. joke's on them because it's an essay test and bitches will need to use their nubile young minds!
*postscript: in this daydream I'm also married to mark d, and sometimes bring in hilarious d-anecdotes, and the kids sort of get to learn his personality through my stories, and also when he comes in sometimes and drops off a weird asian lunch for me. if this particular daydream is the version in which i'm in my late 30s/early 40s, D is dressed hilariously similar to what he does now, in layered thrifted tops and neat shoes. he also still has black-rimmed glasses, and the geeky girls in class secretly think he's hot, plus he plays guitars. HEY LADIEZ.
critique: reveals certain embarassing self-truths as well as raises important questions. what happens when, as I age, my physical charms are lessened and my once-quirky style of dress now appears to be more 'desperately alone crazy aunt'-esque? also, in 20 years these kids aren't going to know the simpsons/arrested development quotes, and I'll just seem crazy. will this institutional setting make me more conservative? all in all a reasonably satisfying yarn bearing uncomfortable similarities to 'dead poet's society' and the aforementioned 'save by the bell'.
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