I only care about matieral things

I know I'm on your christmas list.

Buy For Me Lovers



'cause life sucks kids: all up and down the dial

statutory grape

so finally, epicly, It's confirmed where I am moving to in June. here in providence, downtown-ish, sorta kinda, a 3 floor house with 8 people, puppies, a garden, and weekly family meetings and dinners. who can I thank for the hookup? sweet sweet alex from seven stars, who scarily enough, is a lot like me. her cat is named 'bodycount' (Ice T ref) for chrissakes. I've accepting having to leave behind some of the amenities of the really nice apartment I have right now. however, I also accept paying over $100 less a month. oopsy doops. looking forward to all the new friends and situations I will find here!

*and I've been way behind in my celebrity news, but um, put this is the 'least surprising thing ever' file: michael jackson has skin cancer. oh really? dude has probably put everything on his face from searing hot barbeque sauce to flaming sparks from that pepsi commercial, to brooke shields' pussy. being white is just that desirable.

**um also leaked nude pics of rihanna, obvs from chris brown and his camp. normally 'leaked celeb nude pics' mean nip slips in the ocean or rump shots from calendar shoots. but rihanna is straight bent over from behind and you can see her ladyfingers n' stuff. plus her boobs (nipple ring, plus one) and abs (minus 1). this is what jay-z jerks off to while beyonce is off pretending to give a shit about kids in hospitals.


**also, youtube or google the clip from a recent weezer show, in which they cover of kids by mgmt, with a pokerface by lady gaga INTERLUDE people (plus rivers in funky shades). who out of those people should be ashamed? I'll just wait for Mark D to start that weezer cover band.

*** in predictable-hipster news: I am majorly feelin' the new Wilco and new Grizzly Bear albums.

***less predictably, I have boy drama. man drama. little sister baby mama drama. no no no.
let's all just listen to 'Brick' shall we?


TELL YOUR FRIENDS 'PEACE, LOOK, I'M BOUNCIN'

lookie here

is it possible for a death cab for cutie song to start out sounding like a modest mouse song, and then turn into a death cab for cutie song? the answer, is yes.

also, I distinctly remember in high school driving with probably Roland, when the first puddle of mudd song came on the radio, and someone in the car asking if this was the new unreleased Nirvana...........

***********someone from Tennessee told me I'd be right at home in Nashville today, thumbs up! gotta hit up savers first and pick up all the floor length jeweled dresses.


***but really what I wanna talk about is the soundtrack for Judgement Night. Judgement Night was, according to secret online wiki sources, a 1993 movie "star"ring Emilio Estevez, Cuba "Good"ing Jr, Jeremy Piven, and Stephen Dorff. plot = witness murder blah blah on the run. I do not remember this movie. I remember the soundtrack, HELLO. wikisecretsource says it peaked at #17 on Billboard, and had three singles. what is important about this soundtrack to me is it's very intiguing rap/rock collabos. not of the aerosmith/dmc/kid rock/saliva variete.

Judgement Night soundtrack, featuing:
House of Pain and Helmet
Teenage Fanclub and De La Soul (!!!)
Living Colour and Run DMC (okay some Run DMC)
Slayer and Ice-T (!!!)
Faith No More and Boo-Ya (I don't know who Boo-Ya is, but I'm jealous the name is taken)
Sonic Youth and Cypress Hill
Mudhoney and Sir Mix-A-Lot
Dinosaur Jr and Del tha Funkee Homosapien (omgomgomgomgomg)
Pearl Jam and Cypress Hill

among others. people, if this isn't next level I don't know what is. I must scour Newbury Comics or someplace for a used copy. motherfuck that is jawesome.

anyone else notice the Onion has been on-point lately? they dipped into Vice-territory for awhile, but they're back babyyyyy

ummmmmmmmm, can I say, I won my friend's March Madness Bracket! it was about 7 people, $10 buy in, no bars being held. but I came out victorious, with my mildly informed sports decisions combined with such thoughts as 'Ugh, I knew a mean BITCH from Wake Forest, suck it' guiding my selections and voices. I'm supposed to receive a $50 compensation, but I won't hold my baby stinkbreath.


I came to the realization last night that Tom Perotta is one of my favorite authors. I read a book or two a week, mostly all non-fiction with the exception of my graphic novels/comics, and his are always the best fiction. also, 2 of the movies adapted from his books are two of my favorite movies, Election and Little Children. I wonder if he still teaches writing at Harvard; he's not super old but he is super good looking.


**whilst rewatching some nip/tuck recently, I became very interested in the music they feature on the show. nip/tuck is basically a highly stylized, sexual, surgical, philosophical, gorgeous late-night soap opera. they have an operating scene every show, and the doctors always play music they find appropriate. music is used to great effect throughout every episode, but particularly during the operation scenes. sometimes, it's very obvious, and (perhaps) ironically hokey. an example of that would be when an author gets breast implants to try to simulate what his wife went through post-masectomy/reconstruction, for a book deal. the song played during the scene was 'A Boy Named Sue'. hmm. in another, during a testicular implantion, 'Diferente' by Gotan Project is heard. when a woman comes in to get her crazy abusive ex's tattooed name removed - 'Slave' by the Rolling Stones (and 'Tears Go By' when she gets a new name put there). 'Vincent' by Don McClean for an ear reconstruction. 'All the Trees in the Field will Clap Their hands' by Sufjan Stevens during aftermath of a hurricane. Frank Zappa's 'Chungas Revenge' for a 4-way scene. 'A Cry For Love' by Black Heart Procession, heard during a surgery scene for a girl who purposely mutilated herself in order to appear a victim. finally, one of my favorites, 'Everything in It's Right Place' by Radiohead, during the scene where Sean has to reassemble a bunch of corpses in the morgue, after they were taken apart and used to make a new woman-corpse. oh, and 'Lovers Spit' during a marriage proposal, whaaaaat.
there aren't many shows on that incorporate music in the way that Nip/Tuck does. usually it's some soft-rock Sara Barellies/Colbie Caillat/KT Tunstall/Natasha Beddenfield booshit played during Grey's Anatomy, which in turn makes it's a hit that I have to hear on the radio all fall.




ps, I'm ready for some dad jokes......you know, of the 'I feel like a sandwich..' dad: 'Funny, you don't look like one!' variety. 'Is it Wednesday today?' dad: 'All day!' tell me more please.m

oh boy Flipsy! you and I are going on a road trip!

since music just wants to be my first, my last, my everything, so one sentence new record opinions:
* new Cursive 'Mama I'm Swollen', is good if you like Cursive. check.
* new Neko Case 'Middle Cyclone', is great, no matter what, according to myself and 2 other friends opinions whom I respect regarding music.
* new Dan Deacon 'Bromst', is fun if you like electronic noisy stuff
* new Thermals 'Now We Can See', is unfuckwithable indie pop punk for the everywoman and man

I have not heard the new Decemberists and honestly am not excited to. I really don't like them much, and what I've read of this new album sounds sick and barfy and like it both sucks and blows. and somehow the new U2 album is getting confused with the second coming of Jesus, so I guess I have to listen to that too.

a playlist, to get through another Wednesday:

David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes
Plaid - Gellab
Pavement - Strings of Nashville
The Kinks - Two Sisters
Squarepusher - Iambic 5 Poetry
Guess Who - Somewhere Up High
Bat For Lashes - A Forest
Final Fantasy - Blue Imelda
BRian Eno - Sombre Reptiles
The United States of America - Coming Down
The Ramones - We Want The Airwaves
Sloan - Iggy and Angus
Jay-Z - When Money Goes


******************************

I'm obsessed with my ex boyfriends bed. that sounds bad, but it's not. he gave it to me while we were still together, and it's my bed in my apartment. it's very shitty now, all flat and thin. but it's become so comfortable to me. give me a black cherry yacht club soda, a cartoon on the tv, and that bed and I'm gold. bonus points if mark d kisses me on the cheek somewhere in there.

*******************************

back to music for a second: I want someone to become the new Dr. Demento. for real. I used to listen to him and the nerd in me would swell up like some sort of sac. eww. someone make me a list of newer songs that would be like something Bart Simpson's nemesis, Dr. D would do.


ummmmm can I say, I am in a March Madness bracket pool thingy, alongsie Mark D, and I'm in second place? it's still very very early, but I'm pretty jazzed on my standings. I'm such a grotsky little ghoul!



E! did an interview with Will Arnett, talking about the Arrested Development movie. everyone is confirmed in it, and they are hoping to have it all done by the end of this year for sure! I'm psyched. I hope it's better than other shitty tv movies, like Fire Walk With Me, the Twin Peaks movie

*also, Katy Perry dating Josh Groban is like herpes getting AIDS. just sayin'.

honestly though, combos are gross, esp the pizza ones

                                   =

this Animal Collective video is all ipod commericial-esque, mixed with floating bugles chips, a dash of windows movie maker, and that mouth from the dairy queen commercials. next level!

new musicccccc

if you are not a fan of The Thermals, please be advised you are MISSING OUT. they are from portland, oregon, plus one right? they're all fun pop-punk tinged indie rock on Sub Pop, you could kinda maybe put them with Guided By Voices/The Hold Steady/Ted Leo? I don't know; comparisons like that are fucking useless. all I know is their last album, The Body, The Blood, The Machine is all killer and no filler. it's the type of album that explains why 50% of the crowd at any Hold Steady show is bro dudes in funny saying tshirts. meaning: they appeal across the board. I know at least 3 awesome people who like them: Mark D, his friend Dave, and Michael. nuff said.

the new album drops April 7th, but until then click here to download their new single, courtesy of the A.V. Club. propz. this band is seriously funny, like pitchfork being credited with 'breaking' broken social scene. reference reference reference link band reference fashion.

new musicccccccc

Amazing Baby was one of the best bands out of Brooklyn that I got into in 2008; dog knows there were a lot of them. barf.  if I said they sounded like semi-fuzzy hipstery glam-rock, you probably wouldn't listen to them, so that is why you don't listen to me. instead, you go to here and download their EP, Infinite Fucking Cross for free. 

then, you click below and listen to their new song, 'Bayonets', off of the forthcoming full length, to be out this summer. get in on the ground floor with these guys. 

you can teach a dog new tricks.

those of us who are Smiths fans, know that Morrissey is one loopy lad. he writes love songs that are either about men, or women, or both; fat girls he doesn't love and won't marry; songs about dead children buried on the moors; he writes lines so terrible ('I wear black on the outside/because black is how I feel on the inside') they are almost, but not really, good. And that was just with the Smiths.

for years he has claimed total celibacy, and written lots of solo stuff about it. but apparently now the Moz is back, and either went on, or off, the crazy pills, because this new album art of his is questionable at best. behold the bonkerz cover of the new Morrissey album, 'Years of Refusal':


Okayyyyy. so now he fancies himself a pop pop. but for real, he is clearly gayer than thou in that shirt/necklace/chest hair combo. but if this album cover is next levs, then the inner sleeve for the 'Paris' 7inch, is POST levs.



'hi' not included.

oh lordy. seems the ol' boy is finally bust out of the closet. that's the thing about you indie boys.......always braggin' about some 7 inches YOU DON'T HAVE.

hiyo.

My Dream Festival

Fantasy South by Southwest 2009 headliners, as carefully selected and cooltext.com-generated by me:

Supporting Acts Include: 

Letters to Cleo, Chalkfarm, The Odds, Freedy Johnston, Local H, Screaming Trees, The Verve Pipe, Geggy Tah, The Sisters of Mercy's More, Cornershop, Possum Dixon and Ned's Atomic Dustbin

'an interesting intersection' or, 'how I can still be eco-friendly while selling my art to an insurance company'

so here's a semi-interesting modern tale:

about a month ago I got hip to this new esurance commersh (the ones with the gross animated ads featuring people who look like tackier bratz dolls and a bizarre super-hero backstory) prominently featuring a song by a band, Cloud Cult. the ad is basically just a mini animated music video and doesn't even really mention insurance. the song, 'Lucky' is pretty tacky too, and the band's name is splashed on the bottom of the screen, labelled as an 'Esurance Favorite', like the cats at their offices fancy themselves indie rock connoseurs. 

fast forward to a couple weeks ago when I was in Mark D's car, cd's typically strewn everywhere, on the way to nowhere in particular. mid-sentence, I exclaim 'omg, you have the cloud cult cd!', and then he asks me not to change the subject. but c'mon it was really weird to me that he had that cd. admittedly, my pal has a very very eclectic music taste, and he has a great time going back and forth with his friends about the hilariously bad music they used to listen to, or rediscovering old gems from high school. I knew nothing of Cloud Cult other than that ad, and immediately thought they were one of those throw-away type bands and I wasn't sure why he was listening to it, except maybe as research for a future conversation at Tortilla Flats. 

on the excruciating 2 hour long ride home from Frightened Rabbit, the truth was uncovered: Cloud Cult is actually an experimental, extremely eco-conscious indie rock group from Minnesota, one that his band The Brother Kite saw at SXSW and is revered by a few of the guys. fittingly enough for a band with a song in an insurance ad, these guys have a bunch of sincere gimmicks, if such a thing is possible: they feature people within this collective painting onstage along with the music, producing a finished painting at the end of each show. the lead dude also has his own record label, embarassingly called Earthology Records, which he runs on his organic farm. they tour in a biodiesel van, keep track of their carbon footprint, and everything having to do with the band is recycled, etc. basically Cloud Cult makes us all look like assholes. 

I really wanted to know how and why the Esurance commercial came to pass. according to an interview with aforementioned lead dude, they've gotten tons of offers over the year to liscense their music out, but because of the stringent eco-ethos they have, they had to turn it all down, despite the much needed money. Esurance apparently asked them, dude did some research, and felt like he could support the company. Esurance had helped make a fest the band played earlier 'green', and also became the green-sponsor for the band's current tour, paying for the bio-diesel and picking up the tab for the carbon offset. 

I guess my cynical self can suck it, and we can all ethically jerk off to Erin Esurance now. I mean, there is really nothing negative I can say about this, and I look forward to seeing the Cloud Cult documentary coming out later this year. 

if this blog was tv guide, the song would get a jeers for being kind of lame, but the story in general would get a cheers. here's to next levs.

new musicccccc

do you:

a) like real long weirdo songs
b) things that are a little acoustic-esque a little punky but not described as acoustic punk?
c) cool

then this is for you!

you know that band, Mountains, they put out this song, 'Choral' which apparently they 'recorded in real-time, so you hear the song unfold naturally', whatevs that means!

check it:



editor's note: the widget I had for this song was not working at the moment, so I'll try to fix/repost it soon

rapper or toiletry?

I found this amusing, and also difficult:


Rapper or Toiletry?

1. Suave
2. Nice & Smooth
3. Soft & Gentle
4. Shyne
5. All Fresh
6. All Natural
7. Remedy
8. D-Flame
9. Cream Silk
10. Volume 10
11. Dimension
12. Cool Breeze
13. Smooth Appeal
14. Q-Tip

okay, have your guesses?
ANSWER KEY:
Toiletry: 1,3,5,9,11,13
Rapper: 2,4,6,7,8,10,12
Both Toiletry and Rapper: 14




*courtesy Mike Daulton

music videos I never knew existed: XYZ Affair

I don't know who this band is, XYZ Affair; I admit, for someone who pays attention to supposed buzzy-brookyn bands, a few are bound to slip through the cracks.

what I do know is that I would like to have a conversation with these guys, because their music video for 'All My Friends' was pulled straight outta my effed up head (see 'review of my daydream #1 for further proof). 

this video is like a U.N. summit meeting for washed up Nickelodeon stars! you gotttt, one of the Petes, fuckinnnnn' BOBBY BUDNICK, and even a bald/bespectacled Ferguson Darling looking like a super creep jr.

I'm all like 'whatevs' about the song, I just want people to get SLIMED. 

oh?

Drunk at the bar at last, last call my baby's home on her night off, So I'm involved in a serious talk with a girl I had known growing up. So we buy a six; decide to split  she has a downtown apartment. She opens the door, falls to the floor, says, I'm bitter sick of sweet and pure, take me now I'm yours

Notes in his pockets, rumors in the mill, phone calls after the bars close, unlisted numbers. If she only knew, then he'd be through  but who knows which parts are true. She hates how it looks, but what can she do? The girls all talk behind her back, they say she's being used.

At Sullivan's drinking with Justin, he says he's seen my ex-girlfriend. She's back in town and what's worse  he knows where and when she works. So we head over to the Underwood, she's trading shots with regulars: She gives me a hugs 'til our hips are flush, says, Boy, we've hardly kept in touch it's time for catching up

Notes in his pockets, rumors in the mill. Phone calls after the bars close, unlisted numbers. Still, he insists on his innocence; says those girls are all gossips. She's gotta drop the axe, catch hi m in the act,with his shame around his ankles, chain the guilt around his neck.

new musicccc

what's this now? leaked track, 'blood bank' from bon iver's new ep? yes please!




sounds like the ol' boy is upping his storytelling game, and that voice is still next levs. this track is like my hair on this fine tuesday morning: not shiny and short. enjoyenjoyenjoyenjoy.

( also the boy has that scrappy lumberjack-or-fisherman look to him that's always been a panty-dropper, and now is kinda trendy for some reason. yeah boy!)

what's the vernon-dict?

these kids today

so yesterday I'm all up in the mall, providence place style, rumbling around on my way to the bookstore. I venture past the old mall staple hot topic. we've all been in there, for whatever reason. maybe they were the only place in your area selling converge shirts at the time (true story) or maybe you just enjoy getting your retna's seared with the dayglo graffitti-like animal printed band shirts that seem to be all the rage these days. or maybe you simply needed to refresh your stock of nightmare before christmas wristbands/mints/dolls/pillows/slippers, whatevs. 

anywho, in the doorway, or rather the dungeonesque entryway that hot topic has, there was a chalkboard explaining that hot band The Academy Is.....would be doing an in-store appearance later in the month, and if you bought a shirt or cd you could get a sticker guaranteeing you could meet the band.

I had heard of these guys here and there, as I used to read AP at the bookstore I worked at, as well as that's the type of stuff my 18 year old sister gets her lip-ring in a tizzy for. I thought nothing more of the hullabaloo until I sat down to read the newest rolling stone at mark d's apartment, as he fiddled online with stuff about the new animal collective cd (which I'm about to get burnt out on before I even get the chance to enjoy. I am prepared for many of the music outlets I read to release a verbal ass-licking praise tornado upon this mastery of audio science, but the damn thing hasn't even been released yet, vinyl today I know.)

Rolling Stone, in their year-end best 50 albums of the year, put The Academy Is "Fast Times at Barrington High' at number 46.  where have I been? well, in a place in which rolling stone has hardly any critical hold for me anymore, but still. they do cover and admire many of my own personal favorites, so perhaps this was something to look into. RS refers to the album as a 'soaring pop-punk tribute to senior year'. I love pop-punk, and senior year was a delicious combination of straight A's, constant hanging out with friends and the best sex yet.  however, this album sucks. I went online and listened to it this morning . RS also put a song from in on their best songs of the year. I honestly don't get RS. I was hoping to get my snooty music snob ass handed to me by suprisingly enjoying a stylized emo-pop band that looks like the jonas brothers if they started drinking. but no, epic fail ensued.  RS put Blitzen Trapper's 'Furr' as the 3rd best song of the year, which is also a surprise. however that song rules, and even people who don't get soaking wet over every subpop release think so. I guess I underestimated Rolling Stone's radar, in both directions.

enjoy the douchbaggerie.

hollerday wishlist part five

The Waitresses 'Christmas Wrapping' vinyl

my all-time favorite christmas song, a 1981 new-wavey punky gem by the female fronted Waitresses, spins quite a tale of missed connections, lame dates and of course forgetting the cranberries for your lonely christmas dinner. 

the waitresses themselves are bit of an overlooked group, and they were responsible for the theme song of 'square pegs', also an overlooked show. they only put out two albums, however they have a 20th century masters compliation that is essentially a best-of from those. also, there is a live album from an appearance they did on King Biscuit Flower Hour, that has a LIVE VERSION of christmas wrapping! huzzah! post-punk you can dance to, cmon people those are only a dime a dozen these days...... 

midnight organ fight

whilst digging around for the rest of my 2008 best-of lists, I came across a previously unappreciated line from frightened rabbit, and their album midnight organ fight (which is itself a metaphor for sex)


"it takes more than fucking someone, to keep yourself warm"

ladies and gentlemen, we have found myself a catchphrase, and my whole being summed up in one line.

jet black new year anyone?

why not inaugurate this blog with my annual best of list? musically, 2008 > 2007 <>let's get this shhhhh going!

Top 10 Albums of the Year:

10. Blizten Trapper, Furr: eclectism will get you a long way with me. so will being on sub-pop.

9. The Copyrights, Learn The Hard Way: rock fucking solid pop punk from one of the few guys doing it right, catchy as all hell and better than whatever ambient trash you're dancing to right this second. speaking of which......

8. No Age, Nouns: A few years ago, I wouldn't have liked this. I would have said it was boring, and where was the fun punk guitars? In my Age I have grown to appreciate the fuzzy synth fragments these boners are offering up.

7. Bon Iver, For Emma Forever Ago: one of the many beautiful breakup albums on this list, I'm sure you've heard the story: guy goes into secluded wisconsin cabin to lo fi record a breakup album. it's not breaking any ground here people but it's beautiful and Justin's Neil Young-esque voice is powerful

6. Jay Reatard, Matador Singles 2008: if you haven't yet jumped on the Jay Reatard bandwagon, check him out, he's exquisitely catchy and hilarious and kinda gross.....

5. Okkervil River, The Stand Ins: although clearly inferior to The Stage Names or Black Sheep Boy, OR manage to make an evolved album that goes someplace new but still sounds like OR. seeing a lot of this album performed live didn't hurt either. two thumbs up for energy! will remains one of indie's best poets.

4. Frightened Rabbit, Midnight Organ Fight: another album introduced to me by Mark, I read about these blokes but never heard them until Mark and I's second date. guess they've been selling out joints in nyc, and the brother kite was able to get in on the ground floor with the sweet FR action. the most lyrically perfect relationship album of 2008. the kind of album you want someone to write about you, only slightly better was......

3. The Walkmen, You and Me: I first heard this album with Mark, and I agreed immediately that it was something special. the most romantic record I heard all year, which became a sort of soundtrack to my own love affair (listening to tracks in the parking lot after bob and jackie's wedding, oh c'mon...). fuzzy and crooning and sexy and longing. plus featuring art by one of my fave bloggers, elizabeth of white lightning. +5

2. Fucked Up, The Chemistry of Common Life : political commentary + a bazillion 7inches + surprising influences + contemptous of church + vivian girls guesting + bananas production = best hard release of the year, fools

1. Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes : oh hey, we are a sexy group of bearded flannelled dudes who are your age or younger that are going to make a totally sincere album that culls from a variety of amazing influences yet still manages to sound original and refreshing in the cynical musical atmosphere of 2008. fuck off with your pretty music (loves it.) swirly.

there you have it. keep in mind this was an odd list for me because it's the first one in like 4 years there hasn't been something by Tim Kasher on there. I had to choke down vom when I put Help Wanted Nights on my Top 10 last year, purely out of respect. that bearded genius better be cooking up something great to whet my whistle, although I'd put a recording of him burping the ABC's on my list. ah, sexual obsession is a wonderful thing.

Best Album Honorable Mentions aka better luck next year My Morning Jacket:

Born Ruffians, Red, Yellow & Blue

Calexico, Carried to Dust

Portishead, Third

REM, Accelerate

Deerhunter, Microcastle

Why?, Alopecia

Wetnurse, Invisible City

Notwist, Devil, You + Me

Vivian Girls, Vivian Girls

The Dodos, Visiter